Time and tide wait for no one

Not in the mood to feel or react onto about anything at the moment. Joy, Frustrated, Upset? Yes, I've been going through all these. But sadness covers all these whirlwind of emotions I'd gone through. I'm stepping into my mid 20s and the number of times I attended a wake is More than the times I attended weddings. It's saddening to sit in a wake especially so upsetting when the deceased is someone of around my age.

He's gone just like that. My memories of him were only of the past. A age younger than me, both of us being looked after by our grandparents, having weekly stayover at his parents' place when I was in primary school. All these flashbacks kept flashing through my mind. He was my aunt only child. I've yet to visit him till now. I just simply can't bear to picture the reactions of my aunt, uncle, grandparents and other relatives. Its saddening enough to hear the re-account from my mum. She pleaded the doctor to save his only son, but to no avail.  'What would happen to us when we are old?' 'What about our flat?' Those were some sentences my aunt asked.

My grandpa cries his heart out. He just can't believe the fact his grandson is gone just like that. None of us can, he just started off with a good career, earning good money but now... he left us

The baby in my aunt's arms is my cousin while I'm on my uncle's arm. As said, being a year older than him, we mingled quite alot

That's the most recent picture picture I took with him. I believe it was taken when I was 7 then while he was 6.

We planned for a cousin gathering during March but it never happened as its tough to compromise with so many cousins' timing. Regret. That's what I feel. They said life is short. So live it till the fullest. Its only till now I get the true feeling of it. We as human constantly take each other for granted. Thought that the other person would surely be there whenever you need them. Truth is, it doesn't happen this way. You really couldn't control what would happen the next minute. I've learnt through this incident. Say whats on my mind. Do what I need to do. Wait for no time as time waits for no one. WL, you would be missed dearly by all of us.

Thoughts

"I came in like a wrecking ball 

I never hit so hard in love 

All I wanted was to break your walls 

All you ever did was break me"

 

Dreams

I had the most eccentric dream last night. A dream and not my thoughts running wild. Its actually the first time I had such dream and I even remember parts of the contents of my dream. I actually wake up smiling to myself. I had to admit I was rather shocked by the details too. A penny for thoughts, do you believe in déjà vu or do you believe that dreams are the opposite of the actual world? My thoughts? I don't believe that dreams would come true.

Before your thoughts start running wild. No, I'm not engaged or anything. This ring doesn't mean anything. Hm, I should say, I'm not the owner of this 'limited edition' ring. I was just accompanying my friend to try on rings (I was the hand model to be exact). Can't believe I actually gave my very First time accompanying an opposite sex choosing, trying on rings. Not for myself, but another girl! And no, this isn't an engagement ring or something. According to my friend, he said he just wanna to get a ring for the girl with no hidden meaning or whatsoever? Plus he doesn't even know if she's the one? Weirdo! My friend is really weird, isn't he? Haha, but well, I wish him best of luck. I hope he could find an answer to that soon. They have been dragging for quite a while (and no, there aren't attach yet). In a flirtation-ship to be exact. But something I couldn't get over with is the existing culture difference. Would that be easy to overcome? Hm... Whatever it may be, I believe he could get the answer he wants by year end. Afterall, he's a guy. Guy are usually more decisive isn't it?

My friends want me to be fat; La Villa

I should get ready for bed now but I'm so so so full! Uncomfortably full as I ate far too much today! So I received a text from Joffre early in the morning (lucky for him to be able to contact me as I woke up early today for dental, if not I'll be still in bed) and he wanted to meet me for a short lunch. So ya, met him for lunch since it's gonna be a short one  (and I met him twice in a row for lunch for the past 2 days). Oh well, a rare chance as he's having his exam break now and left his school in Queensland to do a short visit in Singapore before he's leaving for holidays. And its so freaking hard to communicate with this guy as doesn't have local number. We communicate by the wi-fi he has at home. So we had to pre-planned our meeting and state down the specific time and location. Which means, I couldn't be too late! What a caveman method to meet up.

Annoying guy who is so particular on the angle I place to capture a photo so that he looks slimmer! #Vainpot #Fickleminded #Fussy #Mafan

And he brought me to Suki-ya today for my birthday treat plus he's been craving for it! Killing two birds in one stone yea?

And we finishes 16 plates of meat! Plus lots of golden mushrooms etc. Is that alot? One thing for sure, we can't stop bickering on who should eat what's in the remaining in the pot as we were full. Childish, but ya. That's how we communicate. We just can't stop bickering when we meet. 

And after the 2 hours lunch, I headed home to catch up to read through my books for a while. Yes, exam next week and I hardly start on proper studying yet. Plus, its only now that I realised my lecture notes are useless, there's no answer to my questions. Gawd! Guess that's where Google comes to use?!

So after which, I headed over to have dinner with Keith, another birthday treat. I guess that's the best gift guys gave to friends (haha, fuss-free, I suppose). This guy actually asked me to choose the dinner location regardless of any prices! Haha, gawd! But I chose to dine at La Villa in the end as firstly, the Italian food seems great, secondly, they are shifting/closing by the end of the year and lastly, I love the environment.

It was full house tonight, gawd! Lucky us for heading there without making a reservation. If not we would be seated at the al fresco dining area (the weather is humid enough today). 

Starters: Assorted warm bread and mushroom soups (the 2 cups are actually a portion of 1, we asked it to be split into 2) White wine for me and red wine for the guy

Main: Funghi pizza

 Main: Grilled meat platter (pax 1)

4 hours after my lunch, I had my dinner. And we split our shares of food equally. Thanks to these 2 particular guy friends of mine. Anyway, I cleared everything but left 1 and a half slices of pizza. Thanks for my beloved friends for trying to fatten me up! Ok, I'm having my exam break now and I've been pigging alot too due to that. Guess I exhausted too much of energy while 'studying'. I supposed this will increase my weight, hopefully at the right areas. 

Thoughts

"Cause all of Me loves all of You 

Love your curves and all of your edges

All your perfect imperfections"

 

My birthday; Third October

A lil late but I'm really thankful for all the wishes I received from my friends, cousins, basically my love ones. When the clock strikes twelve, I was actually anticipating to receive a call. However, there's none. No doubt, I was a little disappointed.

Anyway, I'm thankful for those who are part of my life. I know I am someone who appear to be 'dao', nonchalant in another word but I'm glad for those who stay in. Notice the heading of my blog 'If only time could come to a standstill'. Well, I'm pretty much stingy inexpressive with my words and there are MANY times that I do REGRET not saying out how I feel and what I want. Guess there's still the introvert within me. And one thing for sure, I can't accept rejection. Haha, ya! My skin is that thin! Thus, I wouldn't take an initiative to date someone out unless I'm sure he/she is free.

So yup, I'm thankful for the wishes, thankful for the love, thankful for the weather on my birthday itself as it appears to be gloomy. Felt really blessed. If only everyday could be my birthday. Haha, nah. Don't really adore to be the center of attention unless its with my close ones.

Decided to go simple with just a basic tube maxi but then, guess I won't wear it again unless I'm on a beach vacation.

Ending my night with a sweet note; panna cotta. How creative! :)

Thanks for everything guys! ♥♥♥♥♥

Thoughts: Photo strips

I lay in bed at night unable to sleep thinking about

 You

 And wonder if maybe you're lying in your bed unable to sleep thinking about

Me

 

And they said the nicest part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly either proven right or pleasantly surprised

So fill your heart with whats important and be done with the rest

 Well, my heart has turned into a compass that always points me back to him

"Lie to me again" she whispered

 "I love you" he said

Bedroom revamp

Took a while to consolidate this post. I have been thinking of doing a revamp for the longest. But that's all words and no actions. So during Mid May, I finally decided to work on this project. Don't get too shocked for the next following photo. I know it doesn't seems habitable, but well, my sis and I made do with it for years. Haha. A pig sty, that's what my mum describe my room to be.

Before revamp:

It wasn't actually that messy, this is taken when I was packing a parts of my cupboard. Haha, and I'm not lying!

Messy, disorganised, bags, lecture notes, plastic bags all around

My bed

Amount of junks which I threw, and no, my macbook isnt in the box of course, that's just an empty box.

After revamp:

I repainted my room to light grey, I know it looks white. With the help of sokgin, we managed to finish painting my room within 4-5 hours. All thanks to her! I couldn't imagine if I would to do that myself. I was actually feeling fainty after that. Oh! And for the mirror, I'm gonna get it hang up. Problem now is, I need someone to help me drill in the mirror onto the wall.

Got a help from a friend to help me assemble the shelves for my desk and spray paint on my mirror. Its aluminum in color but I thought its ugly thus, I bought a spray paint and give it a new coat of black.

I purchased this desk from Ikea. Initially, I merely bought the desk alone and not the shelf. But I decided to get it later as I felt that I need more storage area.

Bodycare and Skincare collection which I think I have to change soon as I'm aging! The cold hard truth, time to invest on anti-aging products.

And I cleared my wardrobe too!

Here are some of the clothes I sorted out which are either brand new or worn once/twice. I'm thinking of organising a flea and sell it cheap? After my exam perhaps.

And here's where I hang my necklaces!

So basically, the cost of my revamp are:

I believe the above stuffs I got cost less than $100. A primer is needed if you want to paint your wall to a lighter shade. This is so that you do not need to paint your wall too many times. I suppose, I painted my wall with a coat of primer and 3 coats of paint. If you want to be neat in your work, you would need to tape around the corners of your room too! I did that as I'm rather clumsy, and I want to be as neat as possible! I'm secretly a perfectionist actually.

For the desk, shelves and chair,  it costs $119, $59 and $25 respectively. All from Ikea.

Mirror from Ikea too, and that costs $69. Delivery charge and Assembly fees at Ikea cost $85 in Total. Btw, the green mattress that is reflected allow me to allow anyone to stayover! Though, it never happens before. I don't invite any of my friends over, but I think its good to stay prepared, just in case.

Thus, the total cost of my room revamp is less than $500! I change my mattress too as its old. I believe I purchased it from Courts at around $300. Initially, my plan was to get a double bed, but the thought of dis-ambling the entire bed and sharing bed with my sister? Haha, forget it! 

So yea, it can be seen a thing about me. I like to contemplate alot! But once I set my mind to do onto something, I will make sure I do it well. The room isn't exactly what my ideal bedroom to be like as I have restrictions of my large bed and built-in wardrobe. But I'm satisfied with the result! At least its neat and my room looks well-lighted now. But in an area for which no one could see, it has been labelled as Junkyard by someone! Oops! Haha. I will clear that soon, I promise!