Taken for granted

Its been a while that I've been missing from this space. Its not that I don't have the spare time to do so, but my life has been rather much a routine. Relaxing before I start to source for a job.

I've been thinking what this entry should consist of and I decided to write on an issue which I saw on a blogger's blog as that is what I've been facing too.

When someone makes me outraged or upset, I found myself getting emotional. Ya, I would hide myself somewhere and tear secretly. After all those sobbing, I would then question myself if I should be blame for such consequences. Am I seeking too much from that particular one? But then again, I'm willing to give up just as much to the extent of the world and I would get really disappointed and upset when someone is not willing to give up half of his/her world, not even a tiny bits in some cases.

These made me came to realise that you can't be nice to all the people. And its true! The more you disregard the presence of one, the more the other party would like to step into your comfort zone. Well, I must say, that wasn't done deliberately in my case. I'm just getting tired of adding an additional new person in my life whom I could trust; not to be hurt. However, thats only partially true! Why do I say so? Thats because it only applies to people you doesn't know as well YET. For people you knew years after, it no longer works as they have the mentality that: our relationship are already so close, I just need to put in a lil more effort and you would start being nice to me Again!

I've gotten over being sweet to those who are unappreciative. I used to be the kind that whom love to make handmade cards, cooking meals, boiling herbal teas etc but it hit me hard that I have to stop doing all these things for people who hardly appreciate, though they could claim they appreciate so. Sometimes, it makes me wonder where would those cards went? Into the bin or kept safe in the drawer and never to be seen in the light again? Its even more frustrating when the other party just glanced it through once after all the efforts I had placed in (spending hours on the card) and mis-read the card wrongly? Thanks for 'appreciating' my effort. I feel silly, so silly for doing that!

In all, I came to a conclusion that it sucks being taken for granted. Its actually not difficult to tell if the other party is sincere with his words or not, because I would be able to 'feel' it. Sometimes, I tried so hard to please the person I care of that I get so sick of myself. Its tiring, but I never did try to do anything to correct the situation.

Most people would assume that I would say 'Yes' when they ask me for favors or when they need me even at the very last minute as they assume that I'm always very 'free'. Its actually Not true! The reason I would say 'Yes' are because you matters to me and I care about you. That however, doesn't mean I'm always that free. You can't be contacting me only when you need me right? Days after, weeks after, months after. Why am I not hearing from you when all it takes for you is to use your phone to contact me, asking me about my life? How long would that take of you? Am I not kept on your mind at all? Would you only strive a conversation with me only when I took the initiative to contact you? But why should I be the one who makes the first move? Sometimes, I feel desperate doing so. Especially, when I would to receive a short, 2, 3 words replies or when I see no effort of the you in continuing the conversation to keep it running. Questions have to come in both ways in a conversation. Not just myself making the effort. Aren't you curious about me at all?

It all came down to the cold hard truth. We're just very selective on the people we want to be care by. For others, we forbid them to step into our comfort zone and treat them badly/ like dirt.

Thoughts

"A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen, 

The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside, 

Couldn't keep it in, 

Heaven knows I tried"

Photos in my phone

Today is a new day. I'm hoping everything would fall in good place; environment would be good, work would be good, people would be nice. In all, I'm hoping for the best, the best for you. 

Anyway, I was clearing the recent photos in my phone and found a few of them which I had no posted anywhere. Thus I decided to place it over here before I would delete them away in my phone.

Of food:

Made egg tarts. But was a mis-interpretation. Oh well!

 Banana cupcakes with honey cinnamon frosting

Chocolate ganache before refrigerated

 After refrigerated

I finally tried Tim Ho Wan crispy BBQ pork buns. And its pretty good!

Of selfies:

This actually is a very ugly picture. I think I look like a sheet of paper! Something has to be done *self-reminder

And ending off with a video with both my girls who were so busy with their phones thus I decided to be busy too, by filming a video

Thoughts

"Don't keep waiting for an open door, break the lock and get something more, 

Make a move 'cause you're alive, alive 

We ain't got to get a second chance, life ain't nothing but a crazy dance, 

Let the moves 'cause you're alive, alive"

 

Brooks Run Happy 2013

Its had been a great long 8 months since my last race. Sok Gin and I were both psycho-ed by Julia to join this race. Reason being, all of us never take part in any night race before. And she wanna give us a new experience?! Haha, how nice of her. Anyway, back on track, we headed to Julia's place and dropped our bags (as she stays nearby) before the race. We then decided to head over to Marina Barrage by taking a train to bayfront. Who knows?! We actually spent the first 2 km walking to find the location! Silly us. But thank goodness, the race started off pretty late; at 8pm. We actually thought the flagoff was 730. A blessing in disguise for us.

I was pretty surprised by the crowds. That perhaps we only met a few of the runners when we got off the train while searching for the venue.

Finally, we could see the starting point. The tent by the side was actually DJ in action. Yea, that was whats makes the race differ from other races, we could spend our last km partying

And thats how the beginning of the race looks like. Pitch dark, narrow route.

The Glow Zone area, guess thats where the given light sticks come in use

Gorgeous Landscape; Can't believe Singapore could be that pretty

The CBD area; kind of makes me wonder will I be stuck in there next year?

Mandatory shot for which Sok Gin and I would take, a click before the end of the race

 That's the route of our race, we didn't run on roads unlike the previous races. So its just along the walkways, parks etc

And thats the end of our 9 clicks race. Something great about the organizers are that they actually give free bottles of Erdinger. That's the shortest race I had completed but its the worst too! Reason being, I had to carry a pack of tissue with me as I was running! My flu is still as bad! Guess I'm force to head to see a doctor tomorrow. Panadol doesn't seem to be working. 

Greedy friend

 

What's the worst thing that could happen when you are having a holiday? Sick! That's the most disgusting thing ever. I knew I was falling sick when this week started but little did I expect it would be so tortuous on my body. Apparently, the pain for which I felt a couple of months ago strikes back again two days back. But it wasn't as serious that the first occurrence. And I really count myself lucky I was at home that moment in time. I was asked to see a doctor but I didn't as I really have no idea how to discuss the discomforts I was feeling to the doctor. Tummy aches, chest pain, feeling nauseous, giddy. Degree of pain? Mild? Sharp? Continuous? Kill me please! I really am clueless in describing how I feel. Anyway, that were what I suffered from but all these ceases a few hours later. Thus, I see no point in visiting a doctor when I feel okay. Oh well. 

That's not the end. I contracted flu and sore throat the next day. That makes me feel miserable and weak. But then again, I have plans set during some of the days and I have no wish to cancel it. Thank goodness I didn't. I actually feel better heading out than coping at home (feeling weak, lazing on my bed). Though my body still feel weak. Earlier on, I just popped in a couple of panadols and I feel slightly better now. I know I needed rest badly. Haven't been sleeping much as insomnia is back to hunt on me again. I couldn't fall asleep by 3 am. And even if I would to sleep, I couldn't sleep soundly. I know I'm in a half asleep and half awake state, but I forced myself not to open my eyes. And I would wake up by 8+am? Gawd! Just what is happening to my body?! I tried, not to think too much, but I really had no control on my thoughts. Even when I'm out with my friends, my mind is still preoccupied. Patience peirong, that's what I told myself. Things are getting tough for him and the only thing I could do for him is to leave him as he is and not bother/create more problems for him.

That aside, I'm glad my appetite wasn't that poor. Met up with the ever #fickleminded friend of mine again and we combed through various places around Tanjong Pagar to have our lunch.

First up,

 We shared Lobster panini and Grilled ribeye panini so we can each have a taste of each. And they taste fantastic! Though I had to admit, we splurge quite a fair bits on it. But its worth every penny in my opinion.

And after which, he told me he's craving for waffles so I brought him to a place where I think serves the best waffles:

Love this caramelized bananas waffle to bits!

And this friend of mine told me he want to try Tian Tian chicken rice, Gawd! So I brought him there, with the help of google map (haha):

That is my first time trying Tian Tian, and it really lives up to its name. The best chicken rice I have tasted thus far irrespective of the chicken, the rice, chilli sauce and the soup!

Truly a grow fat day whenever I head out with Mr Tan. No photo with him as he claimed he grew fatter #asvainasever. I have a night race this coming Saturday, I really hope my illness could be cure by then especially my flu! How am I suppose to run when my nose kept running like a tap? Crossing my fingers real hard*

My braces journey

 

 Here, a video I took when I first came out from the clinic as I want to share my first smile to a particular one. I hope I don't looked too spastic. 

Braces was an 'In' thing when I was in secondary. That's nearly 10 years back. Gosh! Anyway, I never thought of placing braces during those days. Firstly, I was pretty sure I need to extract out 4 tooth. I'm afraid of pain. Secondly, Julia kept complaining of the pain and discomfort she was feeling back then. There were days whereby she survives plainly on campell mushroom soup! Scary. So here are some before pictures of me before I started my braces journey.

As you can see, those 2 tooth of mine are part of the reasons why I pluck up my courage to put on braces

And what is the reason why I don't bother that much of my set of teeth till much later date?

This is! If you can see, my teeth actually doesn't appear as what it is (real life) at certain angles. Yup, was still not inspired to get braces back when both Julia and Kailin had theirs. I believe this photo was taken during 2005?

Even in solo shot (from a distance), i think it looks fine

Apart from the reason to beautify my smile, I had another reason for myself to put on braces. Only 2 of my buddies knew it. However, I defeated the purpose latter. Oh well!

This is the most reason picture I took shortly (a few days) after I put on my braces. My mouth was still bleeding back then from the cuts of the metal wire

If I were to take picture from a distance away, I could hardly have my braces seen, which is awesome!

But in closeup shots, its pretty hideous! For example, the picture above. Look at the gaps of my teeth. And pardon me for my colored contacts, thin arch eyebrow and messy hairs. I believed I headed straight to meet Kailin after my morning class

Till date, all the above pictures were taken last year (Teeth was still protruding, gaps not fully closed yet)

 

Almost there

And that's the end of my braces journey. I know my smile looks kind of awkward. 

The mould on the left are the 'before' and on the right are the 'after'. You can see how crooked my teeth were especially on the bottom. But I don't really care as much back then as it couldn't be seen by others. 

I had my braces placed on my teeth on 1st December 2011 and I removed my braces on 31st October 2013 (I could remember the date as its easy to remember, normally I'm sucky with remembering dates).  That's exactly 23 months of journey! Something to share. Braces isn't exactly as scary as I thought it would be. Yes, I had to remove 4 of my teeth but it was a painless experience for me, I swear! That's because my dentist applied a straweberry flavored numbing cream for me (seeing how petrified I was, haha). My wisdom tooth are still intact till now though as I'm really afraid of removing it. The thought to cut my gum and break it into pieces. Wow! But I will be removing it really really soon. I wouldn't want to have complication in the future. Anyway, I had a consultation with a senior dentist this Thursday. So, yup! When I first placed my braces, indeed, there are discomforts. Of course, there would be! With additional wires in my mouth. I remembered I cut my food using a scissor during the first two days when I had my braces. Haha, Kiasi! However, I had steak at Hot Tomato in less than a week (yes, my teeth were strong enough). Throughout the process, I didn't survive through campell soup like Julia did, that's Kua zhang (exaggerating).

If there's something I would want to point out, that would be Yes, there are slight discomfort each time I went for my dentist visit as he/she would tighten my wires. But that only last for a couple of days. Haha, I was not stop to consume whatsoever food at all during that 23 months! Unlike those teenagers, I'm not really particular about the colors. Because of the condition of my teeth, normally my dentist would place clear rubber bands for me. O, and one more thing. I did my braces at NUH. The wait for my turn to consult a dentist was about 10 months. Cost wise, I believe I spent around $2.5k (not including x-rays, fillings, cleansing costs). If I would to choose again, I believe I would rather go to a private clinic. Thats because if I add up the sum, I believe its almost equivalent to having my braces done in private clinic. And one con of doing my braces at NUH is that I have to accommodate the timing of the undergraduate. Normally, it takes about 3 weeks for me to visit the dentist but during days when they had vacations of whatsoever, the longest wait could be up to 7 weeks for me (as I had a change of dentist as my previous dentist graduated). So ya, that's about it.

 Ending pictures of me with my retainers, which I had to wear 24/7 till 6 months later.