I've been thinking what this entry should consist of and I decided to write on an issue which I saw on a blogger's blog as that is what I've been facing too.
When someone makes me outraged or upset, I found myself getting emotional. Ya, I would hide myself somewhere and tear secretly. After all those sobbing, I would then question myself if I should be blame for such consequences. Am I seeking too much from that particular one? But then again, I'm willing to give up just as much to the extent of the world and I would get really disappointed and upset when someone is not willing to give up half of his/her world, not even a tiny bits in some cases.
These made me came to realise that you can't be nice to all the people. And its true! The more you disregard the presence of one, the more the other party would like to step into your comfort zone. Well, I must say, that wasn't done deliberately in my case. I'm just getting tired of adding an additional new person in my life whom I could trust; not to be hurt. However, thats only partially true! Why do I say so? Thats because it only applies to people you doesn't know as well YET. For people you knew years after, it no longer works as they have the mentality that: our relationship are already so close, I just need to put in a lil more effort and you would start being nice to me Again!
I've gotten over being sweet to those who are unappreciative. I used to be the kind that whom love to make handmade cards, cooking meals, boiling herbal teas etc but it hit me hard that I have to stop doing all these things for people who hardly appreciate, though they could claim they appreciate so. Sometimes, it makes me wonder where would those cards went? Into the bin or kept safe in the drawer and never to be seen in the light again? Its even more frustrating when the other party just glanced it through once after all the efforts I had placed in (spending hours on the card) and mis-read the card wrongly? Thanks for 'appreciating' my effort. I feel silly, so silly for doing that!
In all, I came to a conclusion that it sucks being taken for granted. Its actually not difficult to tell if the other party is sincere with his words or not, because I would be able to 'feel' it. Sometimes, I tried so hard to please the person I care of that I get so sick of myself. Its tiring, but I never did try to do anything to correct the situation.
Most people would assume that I would say 'Yes' when they ask me for favors or when they need me even at the very last minute as they assume that I'm always very 'free'. Its actually Not true! The reason I would say 'Yes' are because you matters to me and I care about you. That however, doesn't mean I'm always that free. You can't be contacting me only when you need me right? Days after, weeks after, months after. Why am I not hearing from you when all it takes for you is to use your phone to contact me, asking me about my life? How long would that take of you? Am I not kept on your mind at all? Would you only strive a conversation with me only when I took the initiative to contact you? But why should I be the one who makes the first move? Sometimes, I feel desperate doing so. Especially, when I would to receive a short, 2, 3 words replies or when I see no effort of the you in continuing the conversation to keep it running. Questions have to come in both ways in a conversation. Not just myself making the effort. Aren't you curious about me at all?
It all came down to the cold hard truth. We're just very selective on the people we want to be care by. For others, we forbid them to step into our comfort zone and treat them badly/ like dirt.
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