Affair of the heart

Question for thought. What is the probability of one leaving his/her bed during wee hours to find someone who you think you ought to check up to. Previously for me it is a complete 0%. I would never leave my bed after 1am to find someone.

But last night, I had no idea what came to me; Paranoid? Oversensitive? Crazy? Its just not of me to be of so extreme to actually even made my way down to someone's place during wee hours. I'm actually am someone who is really timid. I don't watch horror movies and I feel insecure to walk down the street alone late at night. Yet, I made my way down to a foreign neighbourhood where there are constantly strangers walking about. Yes, at that late hour still. I won't go onto the tiny details on what happened.

My motive for doing so is really simple. I just want to check up on a person. Even to catch a sight, I need that bits of reassurance. But... You know, I wished I hadn't overreact, because that actually show how much I care. I wanted to believe that "Yes, you are fine", but I can't get over the facts that you didn't behave in your usual self.

I'm in a love hate relationship with you. Sometimes, you make me happy, sometimes, you make me sad. Sometimes, you make me angry but the next moment you made me heart you so bad.

I have never gotten myself so worried about anyone that much before. I always am one who appear nonchalant to most stuffs. But when issues came to concern about you, I cant help but care TOO much.

But now, I had learnt. I learnt to accept whatever that is given to me. As quoted, "Seriously what the heck could have happened?". True enough. A day of drama. And that will be the last drama. 

This is one of the few rare chance that I'm touching so much about heart affairs. I never meant to cover so much of it but this post I'm dedicating it to myself as a source of reflection to remind myself.