My Pandora Braclet and Past Week

Its pretty ironic that these few days I seem to be suffering from insomnia. Out of the sudden?! I am not sure what is causing it but I do hope that my body do tune well soon. I do not like my thoughts to linger when I am in bed.

Anyway, pictures of my past week:

Brunch at La Ristrettos, this cafe is really unique. It operates from 8am to 6pm. Like what?! This explains the need for me to get up early:

My Mushroom Frittata and Iced Chocolate 

After that, we headed over to Dobby Gaut to have dinner at NaNa green tea. Food was pretty average for me, so is their famous green tea drink. A lil too strong for my liking. Anyway, I headed to cell group after which. Yea, I was invited over after I had my dinner and thinking that I had a couple of hours to spare, why not I thought to myself. I must say the session was surprisingly good, the people I met are really nice and simple, it makes mingling a breeze. How nice it is not to wear any mask at all. Not that I wear a mask all the time, but with them I feel that I can totally pull down all my walls. As for the songs wise, I must say I am still pretty old school. For my era, I only know of songs like Who am I, Still, Heart of Worship, Give Thanks, Above all, Worthy is the lamb etc. The songs that were sang on Friday night are pretty new to me.

Comfy Saturday night out, having Pure Double Chocolate instead of Booze

My pandora bracelet. Never am I a fan of it and neither have I thought of owning one for myself till I received it as a gift. The charms I collected have a meaning and yes, it is related to the gifter. There is no dangling charm as the gifter told me that it would make the bracelet looks hideous, so I didn't got myself one till yesterday, I added my very last charm: a hot air balloon.

Meaning of my Pandora:

The carousel represents roundabout, the red hearts charm (from the gifter), the ribbon represents my Pandora which I received as a gift, the rose charm represents rose received, the chest charm represents the hope that I had, hot air balloon represents let it go, the camera charm represents our memories, clover leaf represents hope, faith, love and luck, the castle represents the Chijmes building which I was brought there twice on separate years to celebrate my birthday, red pave ball represents passion, the golden nightingale represents Nightingale by Demi Lovato

Compared to many, my Pandora isn't one of the prettiest but it is one of the thing which I possess that is kept close to my heart. It represents my memories I had for the past years and I decided to call it an end now. Why so when there are empty spaces, some may wonder. Well, because Time called for it. Nah, not really. Partially, its because I do not want my bracelet to be too full as I am afraid that my charms would drop whenever I would to wear it or take them off.  

Of my past week

I am not someone who would cope myself at home, it is just plain boring staring at four walls with lappy as my company. In the past, I would be glad to laze around at home. But for now, I adore to keep myself busy. I do not want my mind to keep running wild or allow my mind to have the spare time to reminisce the past memories. However, my mum has been starting to make noise! I didn't even have the chance to sit down to have a proper dinner with my family for the past week nor do I have the chance to help her out with her investment plan. Oh well! After April is over. I'm all packed for now. 

Pictures from the past week:

Au Chocolat at MBS:

Thanks for buying me another bottle of wine whoever you are. Its a lil too much for just the 2 of us who had already finished a bottle, but still, thank you mysterious 'friend'!

 My favorite juice! A must-order whenever I am there, no matter how full I am

Recently, I realised that I seem to deck myself in either white, black or grey. Dull colors, some would regard that as. But for me, I do not need fanciful colors in my life. I am someone who is safe, playing safe as for now.

My Final Thoughts

4 years back, I started out my weekly thoughts on my blog. They are first extracted from quotes then of songs and all these thoughts I had placed down reflected my feelings at the particular moment or the past week.

The past years now seems to be a dream. From the first meet up we had along the corridor, a simple smile to each other, till we exchanged our mobile number, repeated times of arranging our first recess together, our first dinner, to our official first date we planned ahead for but you unfortunately had to fall sick on that day and you invited me to pay you a visit after which so that we could continue on our dinner plan, and later to our on/off relationship.

Things became crystal clear to me on Sunday. My mind went completely blank when I was shot with many questions which I was caught off guarded with. You allowed me to be the one to do all the answering. I was shocked, pressured, no words could enter through my mind. I couldn't form any sentences on my own to speak out my views. There are just too many things I heard for the first time. My brain couldn't process it at all. I was in utter shocked. You promised you would tell me the truth should the situation happened. But you didn't. What more do you want me to say? To confront you? To stood by your side and supported you? You called me earlier before the meetup and confessed to me but none of the facts you told me were true either. What were you expecting to be spoken out from my mouth then?

I supposed to feel devastated. But till now I had yet shed any tears. I expected myself to breakdown during the meetup, but I didn't. Perhaps I had broken down too many times that I am now immune to all these damages. When I got back home, my mind remained blank. The only obvious difference I found of myself is that I had lost all my appetite. I didn't had any food on sunday itself till my buddy forced me to munch down a couple of calamaris. Monday lunch, I only took a couple of mouthfuls of mee goreng.

But I am glad, I had woken up now. Why should I be behaving like a walking zombie? Why should I when I am not the one at fault? For the past 45 months, I gave in my all, my everything just to please you and to make you happy. I done all these acts willingly, no regrets as those were exactly what I wanted to do at the particular moment, hoping that you would feel love by me. To the people who really knows me, I am not someone who is soft. Definitely not soft with my closest friends, buddy or family members. But I had you at my weak spot. I would go along with you and not defied you or put you down. I don't play mind games with you or place myself in situation to be hard to catch.

I always wishes for the best of you and would take every effort to help you should it be within my capabilities. By doing so, I hoped to lessen your burden and hoped you could be less 'busy' and have more time to rest and chill. Whatever you had told me, I took it all and believed in everything even though some excuses were absurd. My friends would always question if I am a 3 years old kid to believe in such excuses. But I still chose to put trust in you.

For now, I chose not to linger in the past and think any further to make myself feel worst. I had seen it clear. I do not hate you dude, not at all. You taught me a lesson. Perhaps I had prepared for the worst during these many months. Which makes me appear to be so calm and strong. Maybe one of these coming days I would see myself breaking down. Maybe? But there is also a possibility that I would not too. The time I had spent are well enough. Its high time to move on. 

Trip to Lazarus Island

Last Wednesday, I headed off on sail with a group of friends at Sentosa Cove. Gorgeous sea, beautiful weather, chillax session, what more can we ask for on a Wendesday afternoon?

But the bad thing is that I hadn't had any food as I hadn't had any time to do so but I am glad someone brought some sushi and I managed to ate a few pieces to keep my tummy filled

And on the table were... lots of alcohol

Sparkling looking sea at Lazarus Island

Thankful for such a day, to be stranded off in the middle of the sea, without any wi-fi connection, chilling with friends = Blissful! Haha, But I was wondering why I am seated in the middle, I don't think I am the skinnest but all of them insisted they are fat (which none of them are duh!). But O well, there isn't much discomfort brought to me except the part for which I had to open my legs slightly. Till then!

Thoughts

"You're my downfall, you're my muse

My worst distractions, my rhythms and blues"

 

Mum's birthday

Slightly backtracked post to 2 weeks back, it was my mum birthday on the 19th. My day started with grocery shopping with her at the local supermarket. I didn't managed to capture the amount of food that was prepared, but it was quite a fair bits from our usual.

And look at how badly it rained at the North side

Yes, I stayed at the west, lucky for me, it was the complete opposite while I did my last minute shopping

The birthday cake which I customized for mum, looks just pretty, that was the feedback I received

Met a problem, the cake actually doesn't come with knife nor candles. So yea, no birthday song or whatever. 

Gifts from the daughters

But she actually hearts the devil's gifts more! Haha, I supposed its more practical. And yes, he actually brought along filtered water too! I was shocked when I saw that. But thanks for the kind thoughts dude! 

Just a simple family dinner to celebrate mum birthday. I am glad dad did all his 'homeworks' beforehand to finish this dinner of ours. He usually had to call and contact all his clients after dinner but that day he took effort and phoned them individually during the afternoon so that we could have a nice peaceful dinner together.