Entangled

I really don't see myself why I have such a weak heart towards you. Can't figure why I'm able to be so tolerant. You can do the most ridiculous things to be, be the most fucked up jerk without your conscience even ticking you. Perhaps what every single soul feels out there is true, my life revolves around you. Losing control of myself , living in denial , living behind my shadows. I tell myself repeatedly to be firm , to get out of this cycle. But it seems like I got myself more entangled in it halfway through getting out of it. Is this karma...or just fate?

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This is what i chanced upon on a blog (snakesinaplane)! I felt exactly the same way as what she feels too! Can someone please put a stop to such feeling! I dont like myself keep checking on my phone regularly if there is any sms from you, i dont like myself thinking that everytimes my phone vibrate, i wish the sms came from you, i hate myself from taking initiative... This is just not me! I even started to leave my phone one before i sleep just as to get the first news from you; be it to share your burden, entertain you etc. Feelings just grew unknowingly! You arent exactly the one who i will fancy, yet i think i fall from you! Some even see you as a jerk! But why would such feeling be planted in my heart! I'm just suffocating from such immense pain and i couldnt believe that my tears actually fell whenever i think of you! Be it silly or dumb, i'm trapped! It's just so terrible to feel this way! It's this what LOVE is all about?

So, i freed myself in this! I guess i didn't fall as deep as i thought! I need merely a week of time and peace to heal those pains. I think i just treat your presence as a habit! When i return back to my norm, everything will remains unchanged then!